I’ve cried about 15 times today. That’s gotta be a pathetic record. I think about it less frequently, but the days I do think about I dwell and dwell and my heart aches until I can’t breath anymore. This emptiness is consuming me. I feel like its time to seek out help be a support group or just someone to talk to. I’d never wish this upon someone. I have so much anger and hate for the universe.
I must have a vitamin or mineral deficiency. When I was taking my prenatal vitamins my awful headaches went away, they’ve been back with a vengeance for the last month. Hmmm. Time to start vitamins again!
Watching peoples lives go on, while I can barely survive my own anymore. Somedays it’s too much to bare, and the weight feels so heavy that I can barely breathe. I just want that little part of me back that died that day. Mourning in silence, and crying in the middle of the night while everyone is asleep. Put on that phony smile and pretend your hearts not breaking on the inside. I wish there was a way to fill that empty hole in my soul. Not much of anything brings me joy. It’s no way for anyone to live. How do people get through this?